I'm not sure how much time passed after the conversation at the gym. I know there were a few incidents with anorexia that I will not re-account mostly because I don't want to remember them. After one such incident I returned home from the hospital and went straight to my closet to cry. This was a typical place for me to have pity parties. It was a walk-in closet and typically organized. There were no windows and I could shut the door and just be alone.
I sat there and cried my eyes out. I remember thinking nothing could change me and my life was pretty much over. I was extremely weak and every attempt I made to stand up made me lightheaded. I don't know how long I was in there but in the midst of my sob session, I found the Book of Mormon Tara gave me for my birthday three or four years ago. I opened it for the first time and saw a picture of Christ taped to the inside cover and Tara's testimony on the following page. I flipped through the pages and stopped in a section that Tara highlighted. It was 3 Nephi 11. I started reading. I know I read more than just third Nephi and Moroni's promise but the truth is, I don't remember what else I read. I know I didn't understand any of it but whatever it was it kept my mind off of the pity party I was throwing myself.
I stopped reading when the phone rang. I left the closet and answered it. It was my friend Carolyn. She wanted to know if I would to come over and have dinner with her family. I decided to go, even though I was in no mood for eating.
I was there for a few hours before the missionaries showed up. Their dinner appointment canceled and they stopped by to see if they could grab a bite to eat. Of course, Carolyn's mom was happy to have them. I started talking with the missionaires. I explained to them that I had taken the discussions before and I was in no way interested in joining the church, but I was more than happy to talk to them about it. They asked me if I would watch a movie about Christ with them. I agreed. During the movie the spirit was stirring inside of me and the thought entered my mind that this was exactly the change I needed. After the movie, the elders asked my if I would read a few passages from the Book of Mormon for them. I responded by telling them I wanted to get baptized.
They were certainly suprised, as was Carolyn's family. But I think my decision suprised me the most. I think those elders thought I was golden, but I am sure the four sets before them didn't.
About a month later I was baptized. To tell you the truth, even on the day of my baptism, I didn't know the church was true. All I knew was that I needed it in my life. I lived the gospel the best I knew how and made a lot of changes in my life, but my conversion certainly wasn't complete because I didn't know that this was the only true church. I just realised I was one of those weak people who needs religion and elders were in the right place at the right time.
For some, this is the end of my conversion but I still feel like there is more. So there is more to be continued...